First of all, I always thank everyone for reading. I became a blogger because I love reading what others have to say and checking out products and services before I purchase or use them. I also like to see what other families are up to with education, activities, and recipes, or even party ideas. I like to just read how some moms handle certain situations. I love sharing my ideas and thoughts about products and services, as well at the fun activities we do at home.
Right now, I am in a hectic place in life. I usually don't put the personal stuff out there, but, I thought someone might have some insight on this situation. My fiancee comes from a, well, not so great family background. Won't get further into that, but he is a wonderful person, and I am with him not his family. However, his sister is in a bad place right now, and her children were left in the care of his mother. Now, I am big on taking care of your kids. Doing everything in your power to make sure they are healthy, happy, and loved.
The 2 kids are now in my care. I had posted a small status about it on the Facebook for Z's Place, but this is getting so hard! I mean, I am not used to 4 kids, I have 2 of my own, which don't want to share mommy, and 2 new little ones who have so many special needs and just need love. My fiancee's niece and nephew were in jeopardy of being taken by the state for neglect and abuse. Now, I myself am a busy momma with 2 that have special needs, and they are different needs between the 2. My daughter (who is 4) has phonologic disorder with a sensory processing disorder. She is smart, super intelligent, comprehends excellent, but her brain can not out independent sounds into words and phrases. As far as sensory, everyone thinks she is a bad kid, but really her brain is craving the chemicals released when you touch things. My son (who is 7) has vision problems, he has no real depth perception, so he has trouble negotiating landscapes, picking things up, and playing normally. On top of that his left eye is very bad. He also has a heart defect, his aortic valve is deformed with only 2 flaps instead of 3, and it does not function properly. At this time he doesn't have any problems associated with it, but it is certain when he is an older man he will have some heart trouble since it has to work harder being that it is not working properly.
Plus, my son just started first grade, which he is "OK" with but it is harder than the Head Start and Kindergarten he attended. He gets discouraged easily since he has vision problems and they are really into reading and math, if you can't see it properly, you really can't do well. We are kind of training him to learn where things are or possibly to use habit/familiarity to be more accurate. My daughter is going to therapy 3 times a week (2 speech, 1 occupational) and we do tons of sensory activities here at the home to help keep her calm and content. She will be starting her 2nd year in Head Start soon, later this month, she is so excited.
Now, I could not let the things go on with my fiancee's niece and nephew. I know the "You made your bed," theory, but these innocent children didn't make their bed, the irresponsible adults in their life have. The little girl is 6, and super cute as she is, I had assumed, was just unaware of living, well how do I say it, normally I guess. Like you have a home, a bed, food, someone who loves you, takes care of you, teaches you, and reads you a story at night before bed. Someone who protects you from harm and makes sure you are healthy. I really thought that she was just not educated on daily living, or certain things. I was totally wrong, completely off in left field. I received an IEP from a school her grandma had taken ger to in Arizona, and she scored so low, it was recommend she be evaluated for mental retardation, with all the different issues and delays she had. I was never aware of this. I never heard of this child being in therapy, seeing doctors, or attending a special school. She has potty accidents frequently, and I can not even get mad, I do think there is something wrong with her bladder or kidneys honestly, but waiting on the state to get me some medical and doctors lined up to figure this all out. She has almost no communication skills, her speech is worse than my daughter, who has a disorder, and she does not have any comprehension at all. She does not know her shapes, colors, letters, or how to count past 3. I am in tears daily that no one took the time to help her, have her evaluated, took her to specialists. I can not fathom this situation. She did not know how to brush her teeth, which to me is absolutely ridiculous, when she has been to a dentist at a young age, 2 possibly 3 I want to say, and had 8 or more teeth pulled. She has no front teeth top or bottom. This 6 year old girl is just now being taught to use a tooth brush properly and use mouth wash. I am being told she has had some immunizations, but am given no proof by anyone. I have to get to the pediatrician ASAP after the state gets is all straightened out. This child shoves a nice good meal away and screams I want my cookies, or ice cream. I am just truly at whits end with how to get her to eat. She does not want any food other than junk and McDonald's, which I say I am cooking dinner, she replies "Why, Mcds cooks it for you..." WOW O_O
The little boy is such good boy, he is only 18 months old. He however, has never seen a doctor since he was born and left the hospital, no shots, no care, not a thing! I have been just watching the way he acts and behaves, and I am at odds that no one ever took him for an eval for autism. He does NOT talk, only laughs and cried, and at inappropriate times. He sits in my kitchen with me while I cook and do dishes, and just stares are the ceiling fan, for hours, I mean I have to pull him away from it. In the car is leans on the side of the car and just makes a monotone "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH" sound the ENTIRE TIME you are driving. He walks with his head down and is mouth open, of course slobbering (which could be from teeth), but does not smile or anything. He gets so zoned in on certain things I can't get him away from it. When he is eating, I am sure I am the first person to ever give him utensils, but he uses only his index finger and thumb (like pinchers) and picks one item up at a time. He is very clumsy, at anytime when he is walking, he will fall multiple times, with no disturbance in the actual ground or floor to cause it. He will stand up and jump straight up, put his legs out and land on his butt, then laugh hysterically for several minutes then do it again. I am at a loss with this.
I am hoping to hear from the social worker Monday on how to help these little ones out! I feel so bad and hurt for them and what they have been through. I had to vent this, I had to see if anyone could give me some insight or some tips to help with some skills or learning ideas with them. I know it is hard with no real answers as to what is wrong with them. I am just trying to give them a real home, which they are not used to, we have a routine here, baths every day, food on the table for every meal, playtime, learning time, stories, family time, and so on, they are loving it, but they are not used to it that is for sure! I am just so sad at this situation, and to think there could be children all over going through the same things. It just doesn't seem right.
Any ideas on how else to help them out? I would love to hear your comments and thoughts. I am at a loss for what else to do to make things easier for them.
**Disclosure: This post is for informational purposes only. No compensation was received for this post. All opinions are my own.